Sorry, Tim Tebow Still Sucks

I didn't do a weekly Eagles post this season on my blog, mainly because going into the season I knew I was going to miss a pair of games. (Due to my honeymoon in November). But rest assured I'm as passionate an Eagles fan as ever. So I've decided to dedicate one blog post as sort of an Eagles postmortem, now that the playoffs are underway. I'll tell which team you should root for to win the Super Bowl and why.

As any sports fan will tell you there's a difference between being a fan of a team and being a fan of a particular player. For instance I'm a fan of Calvin Johnson but I detest the Detroit Lions. And I was a fan of Warren Sapp but I never liked the Tampa Bay Buccaneers or the Oakland Raiders. That being said I'm a huge fan of Desean Jackson but I think he needs to go see what he's worth. I will continue to root for Desean Jackson if he finds himself anywhere outside of the NFC East. I wouldn't mind seeing him in a Jacksonville Jaguars uniform, or better yet an Indianapolis Colts uniform. He would be missed here in Philly and the fans might try to murder Andy Reid if the Eagles get off to another bad start in 2012. In my heart of hearts though I know it would be for the best in the long run for Desean Jackson's career.

This year as the Eagles got off to that really bad start, I found myself more and more concerned with my fantasy football prospects. I did a post way back in the beginning of the season about how well I drafted. And you know what? I was right. E-Unit took home the trophy this year. My final roster consisted of Tom Brady, Rob Gronkowski, Dwayne Bowe, Brandon Marshall, Antonio Brown, Jeremy Maclin, Maurice Jones-Drew, Willis McGahee, and Darren Sproles, as well as a few others. Most of the dudes in my league still don't want to give me my props though. Maybe next year when I take all their money again they'll finally admit it.

Speaking of not giving up props, I'd like to address this Tim Tebow guy. For those that don't know (shout out to my sister) Tim Tebow is the Quarterback of the Denver Broncos. First let me start by saying unequivocally that Tim Tebow sucks. Yeah yeah winning record, yeah yeah playoff win, blah blah blah. If you watch First Take with Skip Bayless on ESPN he'll tell you we hate Tim Tebow because he's an outspoken Christian idiot (as if he's the only Christian in the history of sports seriously does he think we live in Saudi Arabia), and he's also a white quarterback who gets props for doing things that black quarterbacks do. (Also don't you think it's ironic that Tebow's prayer kneel is a gross imitation of the famous sculpture "The Thinker" since praying is the opposite of thinking).

But that's not why I hate him. It's because we finally got rid of Brett Favre and now we have to deal with another overrated QB whose name is gonna get mentioned anytime he farts. Nobody deserves the amount of Press coverage he got in a season where 20 other Quarterbacks were just as compelling.

Yeah I know it's boring to talk about Tom Brady being quietly excellent up in New England. We act like Aaron Rodgers is supposed to be great, like it's a given just because he won the Super Bowl last year. *Sigh* (Warning: backhanded Giants compliment) Eli Manning didn't set a record for interceptions this year. And Drew Brees record breaking season, well those damn skeptics say that can all be attributed to the new rule changes that help offenses, right? Okay what about Cam Newton who had a record breaking rookie season? Or T.J. Yates in Houston, or Andy Dalton in Cincinnati? How come these guys aren't household names? Well it's because they actually play the game well, so when they win it isn't a miracle.

Tebow's story is so compelling because of how horrible he plays the QB position. That's why his moronic fans love him. Also he's not afraid to be stupid. He is to football what Tyler Perry is to filmmaking. If he beats the Patriots, that'll be the equivalent of Madea's European Vacation beating Avatar 2 at the box office.

Eagles fans, should root for New Orleans to win it all. Why? Because New Orleans is the city in the playoffs that has the most in common with Philly (with the exception of Baltimore and I refuse to root for an AFC team). With that said I'm going to sit back and enjoy the rest of the playoffs. I wish my team was in it but they're not. They'll be back next year though. And some of these current playoff teams will prove to be one hit wonders. (Broncos, Giants, 49'ers, Texans). Oh and a healthy "Eff New York" to all you punk ass Giants fans. Peace.